Em,
You need help. Not in the dramatic sense, but in the real and practical one. If you are to help as many animals as you can, you need help. You need structure. You need intentionality. You need to build skills that make focus sustainable, not fragile.
How much you get done, how much change you create, depends directly on how well you can focus. You have struggled with that since you were a kid. You were high functioning in so many ways, but now the task is enormous. The work of helping animals at scale requires the kind of focus that gets built, not found.
The good news is, you can build it. You have had bright spots. Many, many bright spots. You will have more. Focus is not a fixed trait, it is a skill. And there are proven ways to strengthen it: good routines, co working, meditation, breathing, and protecting your attention from your phone.
You are not bad at focus, you are just human. The brain pulls toward easy, immediate things when the important ones feel too big. That is not a failure, it is wiring. But wiring can be rewired.
So, right now, stop writing. Go for a run. Let your body carry the weight for a while. Then come back, calmly, and fill your calendar with time near others. Structure first, brilliance second.
This is what commitment looks like. Quiet, repeated, deliberate. You do not have to be perfect. You just have to return.
With care, You